Thinking begins in wonder. It is the ideal mood for noticing radical differences in the world, whether it is between people, institutions, generations, or even within oneself. Wonder allows us to see how amazing it is that anything is at all. In wonder, we are open to surprise. and our expectations don’t cloud our receptiveness to something as it is in itself. When our prejudices and preconceptions are challenged, we don’t feel threatened, but we can instead turn it over and consider it. So getting into a mood of wonder seems like a good thing.

But how?

Few people live in a mood of wonder. Most will be in a mood of disdain. Imagine walking into an after-hours meeting of socialist activists and how you’d experience the situation. Do you see people always arguing? Do you see privilege? People who have lost the plot of social change? Male, white bureaucrats whose anti-capitalism blinds them to all other struggles? Or imagine entering a real estate agency. Are the people smart or flash? Do you see cool and ambitious or just coiffed hair, tight suits, veneered teeth, cosmetic enhancements, and fast cars parked outside. How does the bonhomie sound in their voices as they greet you? Forced or hospitable? In a disdainful mood these are pirates, out to sell and pull the wool over our eyes.

Now suppose you walk into both situations in a mood of wonder. If you find that hard, begin by putting, “It is wonderful that…” in front of everything you are witnessing. Then you see that the political activists have understood a struggle so well and committed themselves to it so much that they can see the importance of keeping with it when it is boring and unsuccessful. Burning yourself out as an activist in a year is less of a sacrifice than giving decades of your life to a piecemeal, inch by inch struggle. The real estate agents are striving to maximise the value of your property, painting pictures with their stylses and words.

Neither the disdainful nor the wondrous look at the situation is necessarily more accurate, but wonder will open up more reflection. A good way to get into a mood of wonder is to start with ourselves and see ourselves with fresh eyes. When we see ourselves with wonder we look to see the style of our existential identity that provides coherence for all our separate practical identities. In The Gay Science, Friedrich Nietzsche wrote, “one thing is needful, to give style to one’s character - a great and rare art! It is practiced by those who survey all their strengths and weaknesses and then fit them into an artistic plan until every one of them appears as art and reason and even weaknesses delight the eye.”

How do you find this style?

Look at your various practical identities - in your friendships, your hobbies, your parenting, your community work, your activism, or your paid work. Find the activities where you feel you are expressing yourself and your uniqueness. Perhaps you are a recruiter who loves to dress and prepare your candidates to find the work that suits them. Perhaps, you are a thwarted medic working to provide catering services to hospitals. Or, an M&A analyst who attends to post-merger cultural integration. Look to the past and look at your dreams and aspirations. Perhaps moments stand out when you were joking with friends, preparing and drinking coffee in a favourite mug at the quietest time of day, teaching small groups, working with a friend on a car, hiking and camping together, walking to and from the football, or worshipping in a temple. Look right across your entire life and think of it as a whole. Reflect on all the moments that stand out and find those when you feel most yourself. Use art historian Alexander Nagel’s advice and think of your style as ‘the state in which one feels the least separation between one’s character and one’s body.’ Prune your long list by subjecting each activity against Albert Borgmann’s four affirmations which cultivate wonder:

• There is nowhere I would rather be
• There is nothing I would be rather be doing
• There is no-one I would rather be with
• I will remember this well

Of those focal practices that survived the cull, ask yourself the following:

• Earth questions: what traditions does it draw on?
• Sky questions: what particular skills do you excel in?
• Divinities questions: what is the feel of the activity when you are feeling blessed - on the money?
• Mortals questions: identify your virtue (skill) and style (divinity) and ask yourself, how must I change?

Name the style of your existential identity in two words: a descriptive adjective and a capacity or skilful activity. For example: harsh truth teller, protean seducer, triumphant deal maker, paternalistic organizer, straight-talking action driver, exuberant motivator, subtle politician, artful charmer, sympathetic friend maker, excited teacher. In identifying your way of being, look for the style that pervades most of your life. The relentless action driver will manifest her style not just in the workplace but also in her relations with family and friends.

Having found your style, bring it to bear on situations. Connect what you see to how you see yourself and wonder.

References

Irene McMullin (2019) Existential Flourishing: a phenomenology of the virtues, Appendix D: Modern Meal Times in Brett Frischmann and Evan Selinger (2018) Re-engineering Humanity Albert Borgmann’s Cyberspace, Cosmology and the Meaning of Life.